mandag 11. april 2011

Playoffs? Preview? Yes, indeed! For the East at least.

Playoff time. It's glorious. The best time in sports. Great matchups, battles, stories and I am so far aboard the legendary stress train that I don't even know what to do with myself. The Wings will meet the Coyotes and I am sure I'll write quite a bit about that over the course of the next couple of weeks, but there are also seven other matchups and I thought I'd take a look at all of them and see what I think. For today, we'll deal with the Eastern Conference.

New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals
The Caps obviously won the East with 107 points, which is pretty damn impressive considering their cold streak in early December. The Rangers barely clawed their way in with 93. I remember this series from two years ago. It was tight and the Rangers were very good defensively, but eventually came up short due to not being able to score at all. This year they have actually scored more goals than the Caps, even though Gaborik has been unimpressive.

- The Rangers have Callahan out and no big names scoring too much. Can Lundquist save them?
- The Caps' total loss of offense and better defense seems to be an attempt at getting cup ready. Have they taken courses from porn stars to rid themselves of their gag reflexes or will they choke again?
- Norwegian hobbit magic?
- The loss of Mike Green should strenghten the Caps a lot on defense, but I hear he might be back, which would be bad news.
- NBC and NHL probably came in their pants when they got this matchup. Circle jerking ensued (I would assume).
- Caps will win out in 6 (and then choke in the second round). The Rangers just aren't a good team.

Buffalo Sabres @ Philadelphia Flyers
Second seed Flyers ended the season struggling and with 106 points. The Sabres ended with a hot streak and 96 points. Both teams both score and let in quite a few goals which is surprising.

- The Flyers are stone fucking cold, the Sabres are red hot. So naturally the Sabres will choke?
- Kaleta, Carcillo and Hartnell in the same series? Controversy will happen!
- Pierre McGuire will spend 97% of the series lusting after Mike Richards.
- Thomas Vanek is hot right now. Can he continue or will Pronger crush him?
- The Flyers still have no goaltending. Problem?
- Can Ryan Miller save the Sabres?
- The Flyers win out in seven. They are too good and the Sabres aren't deep enough.

Montreal Canadiens @ Boston Bruins
The Bruins finished third with 103 points, while the Habs finished 6th with 96. Both teams hate each other. Both teams bore me. And there are huge expectations for a ton of fights. Hmmm...

- Will the teams fail to entertain or will they make this a mayhem of the series?
- How many suspensions?
- Zdeno Chara is big. Like... really, really big.
- The Habs are small. Like... really, really small.
- How many games before Carey Price breaks into pieces yet again?
- Bruins will win out in five. The Habs are too weak and Price can't play in playoffs.

Tampa Bay Lightning @Pittsburgh Penguins
Shittsburgh got 106 points, good for 4th. The Bolts got 103, which is 5th. The Penguins have their two biggest stars out. The Lightning have Marty and Stamkos.

- How weird will it be to see the Pens get no attention due to the lack of Crosby?
- When will Crosby come back? x 1000000 from the media all playoffs.
- Can Stamkos deliver in the playoffs?
- Will Roloson shut down the Pens.
- I hate the Pens
- The Lightning will win out in 7. No Crosby.

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